6 Helpful Shifts That Can Change Your Depression Journey

Hey Friend,

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re tired. Not sleepy tired - but soul tired. Tired of battling depression. Tired of the heaviness. Tired of feeling lonely in something you can’t fully explain and can’t seem to shake.

Let me tell you something right now — You are not crazy. You are not weak. And you are definitely not alone.

I know these feelings well. Depression has a way of showing up uninvited. Sometimes it’s after trauma. Sometimes it’s after grief, loss, or major life changes. And sometimes, it’s genetics. Yes — research shows there are genes linked to mental illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. So when people say, “It runs in the family,” sometimes… it truly does.

About three years ago, I made a decision. I was done letting depression whoop my ass! It was time to find my peace by any means necessary.

Since this is our first real chat, I want to share a little about my journey. I’ll also share five things you’ll want to remember as you begin (or continue) your healing journey. Healing is not for the faint of heart. But it is life-changing. And it is necessary if we’re going to get our peace and find our joy.

Before I ever knew the word “depression,” she already knew me.I call my depression “she” — not for dramatic effect, but because it reminds me that it is separate from me. It is a medical condition that I live with but depression is not Candice.

I remember being about twelve and feeling this deep emptiness I couldn’t explain. I isolated myself. There were days I didn’t brush my teeth or shower. Sometimes I stayed in bed for days. The fatigue — mental and physical — is real. I remember episodes that would last weeks, sometimes months. And then there would be a break.

For a little while, the gray would lift. I could breathe again. I’d get bursts of energy. I’d deep clean my room. Get my hygiene back on track. Do my hair. Make study plans. My grades would improve. I’d feel strong. Hopeful.

But it never lasted.

The gray would return, and I’d fall back into that cycle. Years later, I learned there are names for these phases — remission, recovery, and recurrence. I’ll explain those more in a future post! (subscribe for the notifications).

So how do most of us survive during those dark seasons? We cope. And sometimes… we don’t cope in healthy ways.

Food was my first coping mechanism. Later, alcohol and drugs entered the picture. Where did years of depression and trauma lead me? Worsening symptoms. Violent and toxic relationships. Alcoholism. A suicide attempt.

I was a hot mess express. But the hardest part? Missed years of the good things life could have offered just trying to make it through.

So what changed?  

I stopped trying to fight depression alone.

How do we loosen depression’s grip?

From someone who lived most of her life in gray and made it to the other side - Here are Six Helpful Shifts That Can Change Your Depression Journey.

1. Buckle up. Healing has ups and downs. Progress and setbacks. Changing thought patterns and behaviors doesn’t happen overnight. It’s hard — but what’s waiting on the other side is worth it.

2. Put it all on the table. Vulnerability is essential. I used to say therapy “didn’t work.” The truth? I wasn’t being fully honest with them folks. Shame and fear kept me quiet. After my suicide attempt, during inpatient treatment, I made a decision to tell the whole truth — about the childhood sexual abuse, the guilt, the hallucinations. It was terrifying. It was also freeing. The weight I had been carrying alone finally had somewhere to go. I also realized there was so much I didn’t understand — but the professionals did.

You deserve that kind of relief!

3. Finding the right therapist may take time. Don’t give up. You deserve to feel safe and heard. You deserve to be included in your treatment plan. If the first one isn’t it, keep searching. A therapist that makes you feel safe and included is Top Tier!

4. Let go of assumptions about treatment. I had so many wrong ideas about mental health care, and they delayed my healing. Go in with an open mind. Be willing to explore. 

5. Managing your mental health is a lifestyle. Healing isn’t a one-time decision — it’s something you choose over and over again. You have to prioritize your mental health like your life depends on it… because sometimes it does.

There are seasons when I lean heavily into my prayer life because my hope needs reinforcement. There are people I’ve had to love from a distance because their presence was draining me. I even walked away from a job when I realized it was making my depression worse.

Some days, prioritizing my mental health looks peaceful — prayer, quiet, rest. Other days, it looks like hitting a punching bag because frustration can spiral into depressive thoughts if I don’t release it.

Whatever it looks like for you, give yourself permission to do what protects your peace.

This kind of awareness doesn’t happen overnight. It develops over time through treatment, growth, and healing. So don’t stress about having it all figured out right now. As you heal, you’ll naturally start choosing yourself without guilt.

And one day you’ll look up and realize — you don’t play about your mental wellness anymore.

As you should. Period.

6. When it gets hard, ask yourself: “What’s my alternative?” No seriously, what's your alternative if you don't keep pushing forward? Remember this might be a long journey of ups and downs. It will be uncomfortable and scary at times but only for a moment friend! Stopping is not an option. You deserve a better life. Fight for it. I believe in you.

Alright friend, that’s enough chatting for today.

Until next week — take care of you.

Here’s one small healthy habit I learned in treatment: Every day, choose one small act of self-care. It doesn’t have to be big. Just something that brings you a moment of peace, a smile, or a breath of calm.

Today, I’m lighting my ocean breeze candle. Scents calm me and remind me I’m safe.

What’s your one small thing today? Let me know in the comments! 

Sincerely,

Your Mental Health Girly ... Candice

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