Hey Friend,

Today, I want to talk about self-care.

But not the “take a bubble bath, light a candle, and do a face mask” kind of self-care—although, listen, those things can absolutely be fun too. 😂

I’m talking about real self-care for those of us navigating depression, anxiety, trauma, and the everyday weight that comes with trying to keep our mental health in check.

I’m talking about the small, intentional things that help you release a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

The things that ease some of the edge and ache we carry in our bones from the daily mental battles we fight.

Because sometimes self-care isn't glamorous...

Sometimes it's going to bed early.

Asking for help.

Saying no.

Drinking some water.

Getting outside.

Taking a break.

Letting yourself cry.

Or simply giving yourself permission to have a bad day without deciding that you're failing at life.

Those small, intentional acts can have a huge impact when it comes to depression recovery and maintaining your mental wellness.

So, let's talk about it, friend…

What Self-Care Looked Like for Me

For a long time, I honestly had no clue what self care was.

I thought self-care was getting my two week nail refill and a monthly pedicure if finances allowed. 

I spent a lot of time in survival mode. I was trying to hold everything together while quietly struggling on the inside. I was pushing through the exhaustion, and running myself deeper into trouble. 

As I started working through my depression, anxiety, and trauma, I learned what self care actually meant. I had to learn how to care for myself while I was trying to manage life.

I started paying attention to the little things.

How much sleep I was getting.

What I was telling myself.

Who I was allowing into my space.

What environments made me feel overwhelmed.

What brought me joy.

When I needed quiet.

When I needed people.

When I needed to ask for help.

And slowly, I started realizing that self-care wasn't one big thing that was going to magically make everything better.

It was the small things.

It was being intentional about things.

I started reminding myself, “Hey, I deserve to be taken care of too.”

And honestly, friend, I’m still learning and sometimes I drop the ball and ignore my good sense trying to tell me “you’re not doing okay.”

But these seven types of self-care have become some of the things I lean on when I'm trying to protect my peace, manage my mental health, and continue moving forward in my recovery.

What Is Self-Care?

If you look up the definition of self-care, you'll probably find some version of the same answer: self-care is the practice of taking intentional actions to protect and maintain your overall well-being.

It can include caring for your physical, mental, emotional, social, environmental, recreational, and spiritual well-being.

Throughout my own journey, I've learned that self-care isn't just one thing. There are different areas of our lives that need attention, and neglecting one can sometimes affect the others.

For me, there are seven types of self-care that have become especially important to maintaining my overall wellness.

Why Is Self-Care Important When You're Struggling With Your Mental Health?

Self-care is especially important when you're struggling with your mental health because you matter, and taking care of yourself has to become a priority.

And I'm not saying that to be dramatic.

Depression and other mental health struggles can become serious, especially when symptoms go untreated or continue to worsen. That's why paying attention to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being matters.

For me, self-care has been about giving myself the tools to keep going, keep healing, and keep fighting for the life I want.

Basically, I'm trying to keep beating depression's ass for the long haul. 😉

What Does Self-Care Look Like?

Here's the thing about self-care:

It will look different for everyone.

And honestly? It can look different for you depending on what's happening in your life at the time.

For example, football season just started, and with two kids playing on different teams, it's been constant running, late nights at the field, figuring out schedules, squeezing in work, figuring out dinner, and trying to keep everything moving.

Eventually, my anxiety started becoming harder to manage.

Then my sleep started suffering.

And we all know how that combination can go—lack of sleep, stress, and constant worry can make managing depression and anxiety even harder.

So the following week, my self-care looked like being intentional about sleep.

I scheduled a nap from 2–3 p.m. when I could.

I started putting my phone across the room at bedtime so I wouldn't be tempted to doom-scroll.

I took a few minutes to write down my daily routines and think through what actually needed to get done.

And, probably most importantly, I called on my village and asked for help.

That's self-care too.

It doesn't always look like doing something for yourself. Sometimes self-care looks like recognizing that you can't do everything by yourself—and you don't have to.

So while I'm sharing the seven types of self-care that have helped me, remember that self-care is personal.

What works for me may not work for you.

And what you need today may not be what you need six months from now.

That's okay.

Let's get into the seven types that have become important in my own depression recovery.

1. Mental Self-Care

Two of the most helpful forms of mental self-care for me have been mindfulness and learning to give myself grace.

Mindfulness required me to slow down and actually pay attention to what was happening inside of me.

When I felt uncomfortable, angry, sad, anxious, or panicked, I started learning to pause instead of immediately reacting.

When those nagging, intrusive thoughts started to spiral, I had to look deeper.

What triggered this?

What am I actually feeling?

What is my mind trying to tell me?

I also had to become more mindful of the things, people, and places that made me smile from the inside.

What brought me peace?

What made me feel calm?

What made me feel safe?

Knowing these things became incredibly important because those are the things I could reach for when the mental chaos started getting loud.

And then there was learning to give myself grace.

Whew.

That one was much harder.

Showing yourself grace means allowing yourself to be imperfect while still understanding that you're valuable and worthy—even when things don't happen the way you hoped they would.

Grace is choosing to be kind to yourself.

A lot of the negative thoughts that wreck havoc on our mental well-being can come from our own fear of disappointment, failure, or not being enough.

Learning to give myself grace helped me realize that making a mistake doesn't make me a failure.

Having a bad day doesn't mean I've failed at recovery.

And needing help doesn't make me weak.

Sometimes, giving yourself grace is the peace you've been looking for.

2. Physical Self-Care

Physical self-care is exactly what it sounds like: taking care of your body.

Sleep.

Movement.

Eating nourishing foods.

Drinking enough water.

Getting outside.

Going to your appointments.

Taking your medication as prescribed, if medication is part of your treatment.

These things can sound so simple, but when you're depressed, even simple things can feel incredibly difficult.

If there's one thing I've learned throughout this journey, it's that physical and mental wellness are deeply connected.

When I'm exhausted, I'm more irritable.

When I'm not eating well, I don't feel my best.

When I've been sitting inside for days, my mood can take a hit.

And when I don't take care of my body, I usually feel it mentally too.

Physical self-care isn't about having the perfect routine.

It's about asking yourself:

“What does my body need from me today?”

Sometimes the answer is movement.

Sometimes it's rest.

Sometimes it's a glass of water and something to eat.

And sometimes it's simply going to bed.

3. Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care has been about learning how to actually feel my feelings without allowing them to completely take over.

It can include learning and practicing healthy coping skills, recognizing emotional triggers, and creating boundaries with people or situations that consistently disrupt your peace.

I've had to learn that ignoring my emotions will always catch up with you eventually.

Pretending I'm fine will do the same.

Sometimes I need to cry.

Sometimes I need to write.

Sometimes I need to talk to someone.

Sometimes I need to step away from a situation before responding.

And sometimes I need to admit:

“Yeah... this really hurt me.”

That's emotional self-care too.

It's giving yourself permission to acknowledge what you're feeling instead of constantly pushing it down.

4. Environmental Self-Care

Environmental self-care has quickly become one of my favorites!

Our surroundings can have a major effect on our mood.

For me, decluttering and organizing my space can make a noticeable difference when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Something as simple as making my bed in the morning can change how I start my day.

And then there's decorating.

I've found that creating a space that feels comfortable, peaceful, and like me can bring a sense of happiness and belonging.

Fall is approaching, and this year I decided to add some seasonal decorations around the house.

And honestly?

It's been such a mood booster.

The process of shopping, decorating, creating, and then seeing the finished space is just fun!

I'm already planning to do the same throughout the holiday season for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Sometimes creating a space you love is a small way of reminding yourself:

“I have a safe place. Somewhere I can just be me.”

And yes, I'll be sharing some of my seasonal decorating over on Instagram. I'd love to see how you're decorating your space too!

5. Recreational Self-Care

Recreational self-care is all about fun.

Hobbies.

Leisure.

Trying new things.

Doing things simply because you enjoy them.

And honestly, I had no clue what kind of hobbies or recreational activities I liked.

I know that sounds crazy, but when you're used to surviving, you don't always know what brings you joy.

I remember feeling a little disheartened when I realized I didn't really know what I enjoyed doing.

But I'm still figuring it out. And that's okay!

You can try something and decide you hate it.

Try something else. There are no rules.

I tried the whole “plant mom” thing because for some people, taking care of plants is relaxing and enjoyable.

For me? It was stressful. 😂

I couldn't keep those poor plants alive, and instead of feeling relaxed, it felt like one more responsibility.

So I moved on.

Reading, however, has become one of my favorite recreational activities.

I can get lost in a book for hours, and most importantly...

It brings me joy.

That's what recreational self-care should do.

It should give you a break from the heaviness.

If something that's supposed to be relaxing is stressing you out, it's okay to try something different.

6. Social Self-Care

Social self-care is about maintaining healthy relationships and connections with the people in your life.

Family.

Friends.

Partners.

Your support system.

And yes, boundaries.

Healthy relationships can be an important source of support, especially when you're struggling mentally or emotionally.

But social self-care isn't about being around people all the time.

Sometimes it's knowing when you need connection.

Sometimes it's knowing when you need space.

I've also learned that isolation can feel comfortable when you're depressed, but too much isolation can make an already difficult season feel even heavier.

Social self-care has meant learning how to find a healthy balance.

It's calling a friend.

Checking in with someone.

Spending time with people who make me feel safe.

Asking for help when I need it.

And learning that I don't have to maintain relationships at the expense of my own peace.

Your people should be part of your support system—not another source of constant emotional exhaustion.

7. Spiritual Self-Care

Spiritual self-care is probably the most personal one on this list.

For me, my faith has brought encouragement, restoration, and hope.

There have been moments when life didn't make sense, when I didn't have the answers, and when I honestly didn't know how I was going to survive the next day.

Those were the moments when my faith became something I could lean on.

Spiritual self-care can look different for everyone.

For me, it can mean leaning into my prayer life.

Reading my favorite Bible scriptures.

Starting my morning with a gospel playlist.

Or simply sitting quietly and allowing God to work on my heart.

Sometimes spiritual self-care isn't about having all the answers but reminding yourself you are not alone and God above is working in your favor.

Self-Care Is Necessary

If there's one thing I want you to take away from this post, it's this:

Self-care is necessary for your success. 

It's not something you have to earn after you've taken care of everyone else.

And it doesn't have to be expensive, complicated, or Instagram-worthy.

Sometimes self-care is a bubble bath.

Sometimes it's therapy.

Sometimes it's cleaning your bedroom.

Sometimes it's saying no.

Sometimes it's asking someone to help you.

Sometimes it's sleeping for an extra hour.

Sometimes it's turning your phone off.

Sometimes it's prayer.

And sometimes self-care is simply getting through the day.

Your needs will change.

Your routines will change.

And that's okay.

The goal is to learn how to listen to yourself and recognize what you need.

So friend, what's one small act of self-care you can give yourself today?

One small, intentional choice.

And then do it again tomorrow.

If you found this blog helpful be sure to share it! You never know whose struggling.

Before you leave be sure to subscribe to receive the latest blog notifications! Until next time, take care of yourself friend!

Sincerely,

Your mental health girly ... Candice